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Top 10 Things NOT to Do When You Divorce
As anyone who's gone through a divorce can tell you, the process is rarely easy. Tensions run high, and couples often make poor decisions in the heat of the moment. Given the mountain of financial, practical and emotional details that have to be sorted, it's not surprising so many couples wind up making critical mistakes on the road to divorce. That said there are a number of key things you should do, or more specifically not do, to lessen the chance you'll regret your decisions later on. Here are the top 10 tips on what to avoid when filing for divorce.
1. Don't Get Pregnant
Having a baby during your divorce complicates a lot of things, and could even hinder your right to divorce. In November 2004, a Spokane County, Washington judge refused to allow Shawnna Hughes, a pregnant woman, to divorce her abusive husband. Hughes' husband is not the father of her child. But because Hughes became pregnant during the divorce proceedings, state law presumes Hughes' husband to be the father of her child born up to 300 days after her divorce. The judge refused to grant Hughes a divorce because he was concerned there would be no father to take financial responsibility for the child. Although many states now grant single parents the same rights as married ones, having a child when you're in marital limbo can be problematic.
2. Don't Forget to Change Your Will
Getting divorced does not automatically revoke a will. If you want to prevent your soon-to-be-ex-spouse from receiving the monies and privileges granted them in your will, you need to update your will. You can re-do a will at any time. But if you die before you are granted a divorce, and you have left your spouse nothing, he or she can sue and recover part of your estate.
1. Don't Get Pregnant
Having a baby during your divorce complicates a lot of things, and could even hinder your right to divorce. In November 2004, a Spokane County, Washington judge refused to allow Shawnna Hughes, a pregnant woman, to divorce her abusive husband. Hughes' husband is not the father of her child. But because Hughes became pregnant during the divorce proceedings, state law presumes Hughes' husband to be the father of her child born up to 300 days after her divorce. The judge refused to grant Hughes a divorce because he was concerned there would be no father to take financial responsibility for the child. Although many states now grant single parents the same rights as married ones, having a child when you're in marital limbo can be problematic.
2. Don't Forget to Change Your Will
Getting divorced does not automatically revoke a will. If you want to prevent your soon-to-be-ex-spouse from receiving the monies and privileges granted them in your will, you need to update your will. You can re-do a will at any time. But if you die before you are granted a divorce, and you have left your spouse nothing, he or she can sue and recover part of your estate.
3. Don't Dismiss the Possibility of Collaborative Divorce or Mediation
In a collaborative divorce, you can get the help of professionals—attorneys, divorce coaches and therapists, to divide property and manage emotional stress. Some critics of collaborative divorce believe that attorneys, divorce coaches and therapists who engage in collaborative divorce are not really experts, and cost too much time and money. But the majority of jurisdictions with collaborative divorce have stated that collaborative divorce is more cooperative and less adversarial than traditional divorce.
Mediation is different. Only one third-party professional—a divorce mediator—helps you and your spouse reach an agreement. Mediation is more of an-ongoing process than a one-time intervention. Although lawyers are generally not allowed into mediation sessions, you can consult a lawyer at any time during the process to make sure you are getting the right result.
4. Don't Sleep With Your Lawyer
It's easy to get close to the one person who is on your side. But it's also a big mistake. Some states prohibit all sexual activity between an attorney and client. Other states allow an attorney and client who had a sexual relationship before the case to continue the relationship. In either case, sleeping with your lawyer can compromise your attorney-client communications because you may be charged with adultery for the infidelity.
Read Full Article Here: Top 10 Things NOT to Do When You Divorce
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